Ash Hat

Dear world,

I feel the need to vent to you (like millions of others) not for the sake of my sanity, but for the sake of my friends.  You see, I feel like right now all my friends hate me. So I now am backing up, giving them space and doing my thing.  I don’t hate my life/think the world is out to get me… in fact I rather enjoy my life.  I have an amazing family, great friends (who… okay don’t hate me, but are annoyed with me… I hope??), a fabulous boyfriend, a snuggly cat, etc.  All in all, I am rather pleased with how I have turned out.

I am sick. As always. Stomach bug. Last time it was mono, the time before it was swine flu annnnd the time before was this mega cough from the pits of hell. *Note: these all took place in a span of three months*

So anyway, I am sitting here and I feel waaaay out of the loop with my friends, like they all have this secret annoyance out of me (one I know for sure) and it just kills me on the inside because I know what they say about me.  Though… they never say it to my face. I would love for them to, it would make my life and their easier. Look if for some strange chance any of you read this: I know I am rude, I know I an nosy, I know I am a flirt, I know I tell stupid jokes, but I mean I love you guys and I really do want to see you guys happy. I feel as if I have interrupted a friendship and now have overstayed my welcome. I may very well leave (like legit the school) even if we do have the money to keep me at Agnes. I will let you continue your ways of friendships with out the burden of me, because in all honesty I feel like that is all I am to you guys. A burden.

I thought about going on to talk about why you guys aren’t perfect, but I decided not to. I know that I am not perfect and that I have flaws and I do stupid things, but I am rather fine with it; I am not going to hide it, nor am I going to flaunt it, I am just going know they are there. I am not going to go on and point out things because it’s kind of what I feel like you guys do to me. If you guys really can’t handle it then maybe we just weren’t really supposed to be this close. I am sad, but not mad. It just may be the way things are. We can still be friends, but maybe the foursome has been pushed too far. Maybe, I was just a temporary thing.

In any case, I really do enjoy you guys and I hope maybe this is just a phase thing, but if it’s not. No regrets on my part, it was amazing while it lasted.